eats when im sad, sad when i eat
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December 5, 2017
176.4
Thinking my weight was high yesterday and low today because of my period, hoping the weight continues to drop and doesn’t spike super high next month. Ate one bowl of supper yesterday, which was half vegetables and meat so no extra sugars (like seasoning or bread). Drank a LOT of water. After eating, my stomach hurt a lot and that’s when the cramps started. Going to try the same thing (or at least be similar) to my meals yesterday. I didn’t move a lot do I guess that’s how I got away with no headache, I’m thinking that I’ll have to have small snacks when I go to work but I’ll figure something out.
December 4th, 2017
182.4 lb
First day fasting with only water to drink, no headache just yet (which I normally get) but I have some headache pills ready just in case. Am worried how to avoid food because my mom almost always cooks and eats supper with me. Need ideas. Hope fasting will be good because I’m tired of my stomach hurting so much.
as soon as it gets past 4 pm it feels like avoiding food gets infinitely harder.
I won’t stop…
Until my boyfriend actually worries about me instead of encourages me,
Until my friends and family notice just how much weight I’ve really lost,
Until none of my clothes fit and I’m forced to buy a whole new wardrobe,
Until my stomach is flat, my waist tiny, my fingers dainty,
Until I’m someone’s thinspo or body goals,
Until they say “You’re so skinny!” instead of “You’re not fat”,
Until they ask, “What’s your secret?”
Until they ask, “Do you even eat?”
Until I’m dead.
Stay safe dolls💖
